"War Horse" is probably the cheesiest movie I've ever seen. It's filled with sappy situation after sappy situation, and has some of the most idiotic characters I can recall seeing in a movie, characters who do things that make no logical sense whatsoever other than to support the notion that the horse of the title is that special. It's also absolutely dreadfully written, with cringe-inducing lines such as "I can do it mom! I'll train him!" This film is heavy-handed sentimentality at its absolute worst, and while it's well done from a technical standpoint, and generally well-acted, it's simply not a good movie in any way whatsoever.
Based on the novel by Michael Morpugo, as well as a Tony Award-winning play, "War Horse" is the story of Joey, a thoroughbred horse born in England circa 1910. Joey is bought at auction by Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan), though Ted spends way more on Joey than he can afford; his only motivation seems to be to outbid his landlord, Mr. Lyons (David Thewlis). Of course there's also the problem that Ted really needs a workhorse for his farm--you know, so he and his family can make money to pay their rent, to the very same landlord Ted outbid for the horse--but Joey is a thoroughbred and won't take to plowing. However, Ted's son Albert (Jeremy Irvine) insists on training the horse...cue a montage accompanied by a soaring John Williams score and off we go! Of course right about this time war breaks out in Europe, and Joey is bought by Capt. Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston) to be his personal mount. From here on we follow Joey through four years of war as he is put to use by both the British and the Germans, and in between lives with a sickly French girl (Celine Buckens) and her grandfather (Niels Arestrup).
I will say that the film is very impressive from a technical standpoint. The cinematography is gorgeous, as is Williams's score, though it really adds to the cheesiness of the whole thing and would probably play much better as a standalone orchestral arrangement. There is an extremely well-done and intense battle sequence as well as a chase through no-man's land. The acting is decent for the most part, though most of the characters aren't around enough for you to develop any attachment to them. And there lies one of the film's many problems: because we just follow Joey's travels through the war, each set of characters and their stories play almost as individual vignettes that make up a larger whole. This is a novel approach, particularly in having a horse as the main character, but there is simply no emotional connection to any of the characters. I did actually begin to feel for the plight of the French girl Emilie and her grandfather...and in a film filled with bad dialogue, Arestrup delivers a spine-tinglingly emotional monologue about bravery that is one of the film's few highlights. But the grandfather (the character has no other name) makes nonsensical decisions similar to those made by Ted Narracott at the beginning of the film, though his are even worse as he willingly endangers the life of his granddaughter. And when he reappears later in an even more nonsensical scene, the result is a sequence that is absolutely cringe-inducing in its awfulness.The film also drags on way too long, particularly in the first 45 minutes or so leading up to the outbreak of war.
Overall, "War Horse" is simply a bad film. It's a film filled with cheesy moments, characters who act completely and utterly ridiculous, and line after line of dreadful dialogue. There are a few bright spots here and there as I've mentioned, but this is just a bad film and perhaps yet another piece of evidence that Steven Spielberg is losing his touch as he hasn't made a truly good film in six years.
"War Horse" is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of war violence.
Running time: 146 minutes.
Released domestically on December 25, 2011, by Touchstone Pictures.
1.5 stars out of 4.
No comments:
Post a Comment